Negative emotions protect your boundary and keep you safe.
Cognitive principle matrix states that fear, anger or sadness are normal emotions resulting from the loss of some form of attachment. When a person cannot successful pass through the remainder of the steps, then loneliness can occur. The remaining steps after sadness are:
Critical- That is, evaluate the situation and if the person has influence over the outcome then move on to fix it, otherwise accept the situation
Anxious- That is, they may feel anxious about fixing the problem or unable to accept it, but they need to use self-control and commit to the fix.
Confusion-That is, sometimes they are unsure how to go about fixing the problem, but they need to seek out support and find the solution.
Guilt-That is, sometimes they feel guilty and blame themselves, but they need to forgive themselves and then use self control to fix the problem.
Sadness is a normal process which can vary in time and intensity. It only becomes problematic when it it gets tied in with past unresolved issues related to trust, respect, acceptance or commitment. In sadness you can experience all the emotions in the process, that is, fear, anger, etc and also feel lonely. however, loneliness is not one of the dominate emotions required to restore your balance.
The main four relationship principles are trust, respect, acceptance or commitment. Loneliness will be caused by the loss of one of those relationship principles and when the loss is ruminated [worried] about. The following bad habit arises:
If the past unresolved issues were significant, then the predictive mind could join the negative comparative thinking [worrying] and could predict continued loneliness. This then would become a very bad habit.
With in a very bad habit the subconscious mind controls the conscious mind and the very bad habit [loneliness] gets triggered very easily by anyone of the five senses or by an internal intrusive thought related to the unresolved issue.
The above circle can then reduce a person's tipping point related to anxiety or depression, or both.
In the case of loneliness, the "outcome achieved" on the above diagrams, refers to the ability to form relationships and break the loneliness cycle. As anxiety and or depression increase, then relationship principles decrease and loneliness increases.
As the person becomes more depressed or anxious, then the loneliness moves deeper into their four brains, as shown below;
- The Head Brain looses direction and becomes more confused about where to start.
- The Heart Brain becomes more erratic and emotions fluctuate out of balance.
- The Gut Brain looses intuition and the sense of self. At this level if you can't connect to self, it is hard to connect to others.
- The Spirit Brain has lost hope of finding a way out and fails to motivate the heart to keep trying.
