Negative concerns cause anxiety
In Maslow’s 5 Hierarchical levels of Needs, physiological needs come first, then safety and security.
In life, rules, boundaries and consequences provide safety and security.
The purpose of negative principles is to warn you that your boundary is under attack, and you need to be aware of warnings to your boundary, defend your boundary and fix your boundary, if it is broken.
In the Cognitive Principle Matrix, negative principles have no other purpose than working on your boundary using rules and consequences, which are built around principles, not behaviors.
The above chart shows what will happen if you misuse negative principles. You will either go outside yourself or attack yourself internally.
The key is to which causes negative energy to increase and the negative principles join together and become negative concerns.
Negative Principles: Fear, anger, guilt, anxiousness, critical and confusion
The negative principles have the following characteristics:
(i) They are negative, but are good, because they describe negative situations, relating to rules, boundaries and consequences and protect relationship principles. They also lead to influencing principles when used correctly.
(ii) Each negative principle has a message, as follows:
a. Fear: Someone or thing is about to attack my relationship boundary. For example, I’m getting fearful because this person is following me and I don’t trust him. I will need assertiveness and courage if I can’t get away.
b. Anger: Someone or thing has broken through my boundary and action needs to be taken. For example, she pushed my child out of the line and I need to be assertive and speak to her.
c. Critical: Something or someone has or is making a mistake and it is not acceptable. I need to evaluate the situation and may need to take action.
d. Guilt: I have made a mistake and it needs to be corrected in case it occurs again. I need to use patience and self-control and commit to fixing it.
e. Anxiousness: Something negative is going to happen or is happening and I’m uncertain of the outcome. I need calmness and self-control to face the situation.
f. Confusion: Something or someone needs to be sorted out otherwise a problem may arise. I need to evaluate the situation and use self-control to sort it out.
HOW DO NEGATIVE PRINCIPLES BECOME NEGATIVE CONCERNS?
You get out of balance when you break the two golden rules of the Cognitive Principle Matrix.
First Rule: When Negative comparative thinking rises, then principles fall.
Eg. When you start feeling and thinking jealous thoughts, then trust falls.
Second Rule: In positive situations it is personal, but in negative situations it is behavioral. Eg In positive situations praise the person, but in negative situations criticise their behaviour.
If you break these two rules and they are combined then you get out of balance:
The thinking becomes:
Concern-Rumination-Blame, instead of:
Influence-Self-control-Commitment (Fix the problem)
Examples
Fear in a negative situation becomes more fear, when it feels personal and you start to loose courage.
Anger in a negative situation, becomes rage, when it is taken personally and you stop being assertive.
Critical in a negative situation becomes rejection, when it is taken personally and you don’t stop to evaluate the situation.
Guilt in a negative situation becomes shame, when it is taken personally, and you do not use self-control.
Anxiousness in a negative situation becomes panic, when it is taken personally and you do not use self-control.
MISTAKES get confused with FAILURE when you take it personally in a negative situation:
Mistakes-Guilt-Self-control-Commitment [and fix the problem]
Failure-Shame-No self-control-Blame yourself, others or circumstances. [avoids the problem] The negative energy generated from rumination can cause the negative emotions to join together and cause depression [fear, rage, hopelessness, shame, rejection] or anxiety [fear, hopelessness, rejection, panic]
NEGATIVE CONCERNS CAUSE ANXIETY WHEN THE FOLLOWING BEHAVIOR OCCURS.
If you are under the influence of the three types of control then negative principles can become negative concerns:
(i). External control by others.
Allowing others to control you without resistance.
Example: Being a victim. I have no control over this.
Reason: Lack of self worth, self-control and feelings of fear.
(ii) Manipulative control.
Controlling others to get your own needs met, without considering the needs of others.
Example: Lying to others to keep them destablise.
Reason: Fear of loosing control and being exposed as a fraud or grossly inadequate.
(iii). Habitual control by negative feelings.
Use of defense mechanisms to offset weakened principles.
Example: Bad habits. Wanting to stop those but can’t.
Reason: Past life experiences have weakened principles, such as trust, respect or acceptance, which prevent self-control by the conscious mind. Repeated negative comparative thinking has generated defense mechanisms such as avoidance or rage.
Negative Principles are an important part of positive psychology.
